PURPLE LEOPARD LEGGINGS by GABRIELLA ROCHA KIMAH SLEEVELESS TEE: VINTAGE CONTEMPO CASUALS FRINGED BUCKET BAG by ZARA HAMMERED 18K GOLD PALOMA PICASSO CROSS PENDANT by TIFFANY & CO. GOLD CHAINS by ANNA SHEFFIELD TINY GOLD SKULL EARRINGS by BING BANG NYC FRINGED SLOUCHY COWBOY BOOTS: MODEL’S OWN LOTSA THICK PURPLE EYELINER by LE CRAYON KOHL LANCOME ON LIDZ: bareMinerals by BARE ESCENTUALS GLIMMER EYE SHADOW in “TRUE GOLD” SICK LIPGLOSS by WET n WILD MEGASLICKS in “SWEET GLAZE” ON CHEEKIES: CLINIQUE SOFT PRESSED POWDER BLUSH in “PINK BLUSH” ON CLAWS: FOREVER 21 (and for really RAD Forever 21 deals go to) BUBBLE PINK NAIL POLISH in “BUBBLE GUM” HAIR TEASED TO TEARS with AQUA NET PROFESSIONAL HAIR SPRAY SUPER HOLD BODY OIL: HAWAIIAN TROPIC ORIGINAL DARK TANNING OIL (SPF 0) SCENT: MALIZIA BONBONS PRIMOBACIO MIRATO FOR WOMEN (it smells like a ripe peachy first kiss) CRANK, and I said CRANK THE CRUE… DR. FEELGOOD… SWEAT SPIN JUMP AIR GEETAR then breathe and… GRAB some GUNS N’ ROSES … USE YR ILLUSION (yeah the blue one) and JAM ON number 7, YEAH “BREAKDOWN”… check out SLASH’S SOLO… AND THANK GOD FOR METAL BABY!!!!! THIS COLUMN IS STYLED BY MANDANA TOWHIDY… AUTHOR OF “ARCADIA – A METAL NOVEL” and the drawing is of her character TESS, circa 1986 in LA… sweat+glitter+smog+hairspray+metal= TEENAGE BLISS. TESS RULES… ALL CHINA DOLL WHITE BLONDE LOCKS AND HAWAIIAN OCEAN BLUE EYES. YUM!!! PLUS SHE smells LIKE FRESH PEACHES!! DOUBLE YUM!! MANDANA grew UP in LA LA LAND and LIVED the HAIR BAND LIFE FO’ REALS. MANDANA is a SICK AS IN SICKNESS STYLIST>>> FASHION REPORTER>>> TREND STARTER>>> GURU OF HIGH-END STREETWEAR AND WRITER EXTRAORDINAIRE . OH HELLS YEAH! MANDANA RULES. Her blog NANCY GIRL is a MUST STOP for all fashion kidz. CHECK IT OUT… CHECK HER OUT AND BANG YOUR HEAD SEXXXY BABIES!!! And check out her book: ARCADIA NEWS \m/ ARCADIA \m/ a METAL novel by MANDANA TOWHIDY (official site with SECRET LINKS!) TIME TO PARTY!!! AND WHEN I SAY PARTY… I… MEAN… MOCK-CHOS!!!! MOCK-CHOS!!! AS IN MOCK NACHOS YO YO YO! What is the MOCK of the NACHO you ASK?? ‘TIS POTATO… POTATO CHIP NACHOS!!!! YEAH MAN I know…W THE F!??? But it works… and it… DARE I SAY… is SEMI-SOPHISTICATED… I DARE!!! OK, I SEMI-DARE. MOCK-CHOS!!!! 1 BAG BOULDER CANYON (OLIVE OIL+KETTLE COOKED) PLAIN POTATO CHIPS… no I could not get organic SUE ME… 1 wheel COWGIRL CREAMERY MT. TAM TRIPLE CREAM HEAVEN… I mean cheese A few DOLLOPS (thee most OVERUSED WORD in FOOD WRITING!) GOOD ORGANIC SOUR CREAM A shake of a lamb’s tail of PICKAPEPPA SAUCE (Jamaican genius condiment of mangos, raisins, peppers, thyme, ginger, cloves, garlic, ‘maters… OH JUST BUY SOME!) A sashay and a shante of ANY SUPER SPICY ASS VINEGAR BASED HOT SAUCE, YOU DIG I like HORSE TOOTH brand HOT SAUCE…. The “O” face one… A TWISTED MIXX OF MMmMmMMango & HHhHHhHabanero & CcCCCCcantaloupe ORGANIC POMEGRANATE JEWELS (seeds…they look like gems tho yes???) DRUMROLL… Here’s goes… and it’s EASY. UNLESS you no have access to a POMEGRANATE… Tis a WINTER DELICACY these MOCK-CHOS. JUST ABORT if you no have this APPLE of EVE. SERIOUS…. ABORT MISSION. Or uh… top with some extra hot sauce and call it a night. But DON’T COMPLAIN… I WARNED YOU. Sans the POM you are no man’s land. HEAT oven to 400°. REMOVE JEWELS from a BIG OLD POMEGRANATE. I used like two-thirds. You can do less or more. This is your CAVIAR to thee BLINI… THEE “POP” without the SNAP and CRACKLE. LET”S ROCK!!!! Place 3 BIG HANDFULS POTATO CHIPS on a baking sheet lined with PARCHMENT PAPER, NOT FOIL. FOIL is the DEVIL’s METAL…and not in a HEAD BANGING COOL WAY YO. Do try for UN-SEASONED, KETTLE-COOKED, UN-RIDGED (sexxy!) CHIPS…cuz they will not hop the train to SOGGYTOWN. Top with COWGIRL CREAMERY MT. TAM triple cream cheese (like two-thirds the wheel yo)… OMG… 18 BUCKS for CHEESE BABIES and it is SOOOOOOOO WORTH IT. Can you see the faint tint of fancy pants in the house??? POP in the PREHEATED OVEN for 5 MINUTES. THAT IS ALL – any more and it’ll be yuck time break it down. REMOVE with oven mitts (I know you know… but
you know sometimes I no know if you know… so I say it so to be sho you know… you know???… YO!) DOLLOP with ORGANIC GRASS FED SOUR CREAM (I like KALONA SUPERNATURAL from IOWA… yeah IOWA!) Sprinkle with POMEGRANATE JEWELS to yr heart’s delight… and add HOT SAUCES!!! Grab a boat load of NAPKINS. AND MUNCH IT UP!!! MUNCH IT DOWN and say “My word, these MOCK-CHOS are a REVELATION!…and I THOUGHT THE RECIPE SOUNDED LIKE YUCKY-TOWN USA!” SAY IT! You’ll say it… I hear you. Swig some good chilled white wine… OR BREWSKIS Like TESS and her crew would do!!!! I like JIMTOWN WHITE WINE (50% Arneis, 40% Chardonnay, 10% Vermentino)… no, I LOVE JIMTOWN WHITE WINE from the JIMTOWN STORE in HEALDSBURG, CA. CARRIE BROWN ROCKS… yeah it’s her place and YEAH, I’m tawking ’bout THEE CARRIE BROWN from the JIMTOWN COOKBOOK FAME. This wine is FRESH and dare I say HAPPY! I DARE! Or perhaps a low dosage champers… not sweet but bubbly… perhaps TARLANT? That was 2 “PERHAPS ” in one sentence.. PERHAPS too much PERHAPS?!… Perhaps??? Or a late harvest vino like HONIG LATE HARVEST SAUVIGNON BLANC (2010) YUMMY!!! Sweet and smooth and bright… GO EASY… this stuff can and will mess you up. EAT ROCK DESTROY… but mostly ENJOY!!!!!!! Now time for some RATT!!!