Apple-print dress by HELL BUNNY

Apple clutch by ANYA HINDMARCH

FORFEX X SANRIO collabo 50th Anniversary sneakers (circa 2011)

WOW!

It’s been quite some time since I have yummed it up!!!!

I have NO EXCUSES…

Well, OK, I got a big, weirdo, awesome tattoo and that sorta slowed me down. I HAD to cover up that tramp stamp from 20 years ago…OY to the VEY.

Folks, we almost moved to OJAI!!! It’s pretty but… wait, lemme just break it down yo.

Jonny and I have come back to the sun-splashed, sparkling, deep blue skies and crispy clean thin air of Santa Fe after a  year-long stint in the verdant and fresh-baked, blueberry pop tart-scented Napa Valley.

REALLY, during crush, the grapes all ripen into a bubbly, hot mess of raisin-dipped, sugar heaven. Every mile the land changes and so does the sweet scent. It’s WILD and prolly my fave memory of life in the Valley. Think punk rock Falcon Crest without the cool 80’s hair.

A couple of Cali stand outs:
The Shed in Healdsburg was an inspiration. Owners Cindy Daniel and Doug Lipton knocked it outta the park!!! Billed as a modern grange hall, it is a real-deal, truly unique foodie heaven, chock full of epicurean crack at every turn, from a fermentation bar that serves up in-house concocted and waaay brillz seasonal shrubs, kefirs, plus local wines and fresh-baked goodies by genius baker Lora Zarubin! Plus there are incredible classes and fresh-milled grains and… and… so much more I could do a whole blog on ’em! This is BAR NONE the BEST reason to visit the Alexander Valley.

Down in the bubbling Bay Area in Frisky Frisco (yeah I said Frisco…HA HA! SUE ME!) there is the glittering gem Tartine . The BEST Lemon Tart. The BEST EVERYTHING. Baking as art, TRUTH as BREAD. Worth waiting in the snaking line of North Face clad techies and old skool Mission punks. S U B L I M E.

Fog-kissed, jasmine and bay laurel-scented Northern California was amazing and inspiring and so SOOOO much.

But it wasn’t home.

Now I am HOME, homies, and I have a quickie fun yum one for you!

Backstory required tho… I got a letter from my pal, Monte Cazazza. Yes, THAT “Monte”… artist and, in my humble opinion (and many others), creator of INDUSTRIAL MUSIC… period. He was all, “Amy, I love Yummy Dress! Do more!” He told me about his popcorn-filled exploding turkey for one Thanksgiving (really pissed off his parents), and he really helped me get me back into the YUM saddle and strap on the YUMMY JAMMY!!! So I say a big, juicy, medium rare THANK YOU, MONTE!!!

Here we go….fasten your seat belts!

APPLE BROWN BETTE DAVIS

Yes, perfect-O for this early winter season. Plus it’s EASY PEEZY!!!

4 Pippin apples (or Winesap…or any tart, sweet, crisp ones you enjoy)
2″ knob of fresh ginger (BTW, I love saying “knob” in cooking, even more than “dollop”)
red chile to taste ( Preferably New Mexican and from Chimayo)
cinnamon to taste
1 half-stick of cold, unsalted butter
1 cup almond flour
2/3 cup blue corn meal
1 teaspoon baking powder
pink salt (yeah, that Himalayan stuff)
juice of one BIG lemon
2-4 tablespoons of maple syrup or honey plus enuff hot water to create 2/3’s cup syrup

(Nerdy dietary comment: this dish is gluten-free and cane sugar-free.)

I’m like SO SURE you could use maple sugar or coconut sugar to taste if you wanted to instead. I just like my stuff all gooey, yo.

Preheat oven to 375° (remember, I am at 7500 feet so…mebbe adjust for sea level by deleting it down to 360°?)

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Chop apples and toss with a squeeze of lemon and spices. I mean, dude man, you can add ground cloves and nutmeg instead of chile… I mean FREE COUNTRY! Set aside in a nice pretty bowl. BOWL MUST BE PRETTY or this dish will actually suck, REALLY! No not really, but it does help. Mix almond flour, blue corn meal, pink salt and baking powder. Set aside again in a very pretty bowl.

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Cut in the butter with a knife or fork and then mush it up with your fingers. Just swoozzle and sqweegle it around until it becomes a crumbly, bumpy situation in the bowl. Do this for at least 5 minutes. Create YUM syrup by heating up lemon juice, hot water and sweetener of choice into a simple syrupesque sticky situation.

Toss apples and spices, making sure to be thinking of Bette Davis. You should have one of her films on (I say ALL ABOUT EVE for this recipe) or be listening to the tune “Bette Davis Eyes.” The latter won’t work as well, though. You must infuse the bake with Bette!

Add spiced apples to a buttered 8″ dish. Top with half the lemony syrup. Just pour it on, no need to swoozle it around. Top with crumbly flour mix. Drizzle the rest of the sticky syrup. Tent lightly with parchment, NOT FOIL. I know I went off on foil before, but if you don’t recall the horrors of foil, google it.
Bake for 1 hour. Remove tent half-way thru.

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Let sit 5 minutes and then SCOOP it up and eat with fresh whipped cream or don’t …it’s your life! DO NOT TOP WITH ICE CREAM. Unless you live in Honolulu or Florida. You do NOT need to chill down your system in winter with cold stuff. REALLY. Avoid ICY stuff until spring and you’ll be golden. Ignore this Ayurvedic rant at your own risk.

Enjoy first thing in the morning with hot chocolate (ooh I have a great recipe for that too..with Ashwagandha even!). Or coffee. Or afternoonie with yumz puerh tea or a matcha goat milk latte. Or a nice JUICY FAT ASS CHARBONO from Calistoga (this wine is very Italian Stallion YUM)

Best vineyard in Napa Valley???? In my not so humble opinion, Lava Vine. The Chenin Blanc was ambrosia, nectar of the angels. AND I despise white wine! So go figure.

Best Vineyard in Alexander Valley AKA ZINLANDIA???? Medlock Ames – organic sans hippy.

EAT DRINK SING ROCK and buckle up….Tee hee!

High Desert Huggumz!

XO
Amy