introducing EVERYTHING AMY






























Yup, my butt! BUTT WHY you query???


And HOW did you get it so…BIG???

Well my latest blog, EVERYTHING AMY, will address all these relevant topics and more. It just dropped like it’s wicked hot and I wanted to tell all you Yumsters to give it a wee peekie.

Just poke the EVERYTHING AMY at the top of the YUMMY DRESS page.

It’s ALL about ,well, ME.


Self absorption is SO UNDERRATED.

EVERYDAY YUM 12-30-14 #yummydress

greensweater   Green Cable Knit sweater by Martin Margiela Pre Fall 2015 Hey there Hi there Ho there! Yes fellow YUMSTERS, it has been a loooooong while and the irony of EVERYDAY YUM is not lost on yours truly. Jonny and I moved on from sunny and sweaty South Florida, as our time was up, and we plopped down in the teeny tiny spa town of Calistoga, smack dab in the Napa Valley. Land of grapes and geysers. Scents of clean bay, sweet jasmine and deep eucalyptus toss around your nostrils as you while your days through vineyards

and wee organic farm stands. It is idyllic. When the crush happens in October, the valley is drowned in the aroma of hot, sugary, blueberry pop tarts. The mustard flowers grow acid yellow come winter and the hills are covered in bright, day-glo, matcha green baby grasses thanks to the winter showers. That green tea hue is, in fact, the inspiration of this YUM. I whipped up a Dandelion Greens pesto for dinner one night and it really did the trick. Raw and righteous, it is the perfect pick-me-up for the chilly shorter days. Toss it with pasta or use as a dip or a bed for eggy wegs. Mix it with rice for a gluten-free yum. It is REALLY QUITE AMAZING! Onwards…here is a shot of Jon with the young, under-age grass. No this ain’t Napa, it’s gorgeous Point Reyes Station. All of California seems to be dusted in this crazy color and I like that just fine!   1228141506b RAW AND RIGHTEOUS DANDELION GREENS PESTO PRESTO! (serves 4) 1 bunch Dandelion Greens…local and organic natch. 11 cloves garlic or less if you dig vampires a pinch of sea salt to taste Juice of 1 lemon 1/4 cup olive oil 1/5 cup water (or as much as you need to get that classic pesto-licious consistency) 11 roasted and salted mac nuts (so OK SUE ME it’s not entirely RAW…whateves) 1/4 cup RAW pumpkin seeds (I use GO RAW exclusively…raw and sprouted and all that hippy crap) Add everything except the wah wah to your Vitamix Blender. Whir for 5 seconds. Add half the wah wah. Whir for 5 seconds. Push it all down with a big old wooden spoon or that weird black pusher thing that comes with the Vitamix. Whir, add wah, whir, add wah. When it looks like pesto and tastes like pesto, VOILA IT IS PESTO! Toss with pasta of your choice. I did farro twirlies…I think that is the correct Italian name. Top with red pepper if you are a spicy meatball and enjoy! I like this with SEXUAL CHOCOLATE by SLO DOWN WINES, my fave red in California. Not exclusively a Napa wine, it’s a concoction of grapes from Sonoma, Santa Barbara and good ol’ Napa (50% Syrah, 40% Zinfandel, 8% Petit Sirah and 2% Petit Verdot). SUPER DUPER YUM as the wine snobs like to say! LIVE LOVE LAFF EXPLORE and EAT YO GREENS! XO DSCF1926  

EVERYDAY YUM 3-12-14 #yummydress



HOLA !!! ALOHAS!!! And HELLO Yummy Yummy sweetarts and lovers! I’m BAAAACK after quite a LOOOoooOooOong hiatus… you may have been wonderin’ “What is UP with YUMMY DRESS?”

Well let’s just say YUMMY is now in the tropics… South Florida to be exact! Right? From wikked hot, red chile and pinon-scented deep azure skies to Tupelo honey drizzled day dreams and salty sea breezes! LIFE is all about change! FLUX me UP!

ONWARDS…. I drew a fabtastique cut-off tee by the beyond GENIUS team over at Nikki Lipstick – for girls and boys who wanna have FUN and baby, I am ALWAYS up for FUN! Plus, they smoosh up cute AND sick. I love me some sizzling cray cray Kawaii couture overload, so this tee just sang to moi.

PANCAKES! Okay, mind you, not as CUTE or Kawaii as said tee but hey, the word “PANCAKES” definitely strikes a fun food chord, no? FLAP JACKS – even cuter! FLAPCAKES or PANJACKS… lemme chill.

Well, these are gluten free and methinks grain free as I waffle (AH HA get it?? Waffle!) on if quinoa is actually a grain. The base flours are quinoa and coconut so they are PRIMAL albeit not PALEO… but we don’t subscribe to any of that, do we???


2/3 a cuppa quinoa flour (yeah organic)

1/3 a cuppa coconut flour (ditto above and organic it up for all below yums)

1 cuppa milk or if you wanna be exxtra decadent , 2/3’s a cuppa half and half and 1/3 a cuppa water.

1 teaspoonie non-aluminum baking powder

a pinchie pinch of good salt (like the Himalayan pink, fine grain)

2 tablespoons ghee

2 eggs (farm fresh!) at room temperature

Combine all dry ingredients and mix well in a nice Kawaii stylee cutie funster bowl:)

Melt ghee into the milk or half and half mixture by heating it all up VERY SLOWLY on a VERY LOW heat. This takes at least 7 minutes. Be patient and pop on some old skool Cibo Matto and smear on some blue lipstick to uber Kawaii yourself! Yes boys, you too! NO BLACK EMO EYELINER THOUGH!! It must be sparkleee and in the color scheme of Jordan Almonds. Let’s keep it happycore hmmmmm?

Woah…ok where wuz I? Oh yes, by now you are all Easter egg-hued, glittery and ready to stir up that milky gheelicious potion. Take it off the LOW heat and test the hotness with your clean finger. C’mon I know you have ONE.

Crack them eggs into the mixture, but make sure it’s just a bit warmer than tepid as you don’t wanna be making no scrambled eggs when you plop them single-celled things in. WOW, that was a pretty yuck paragraph for such a YUM dish.

Pour the wet mess of love out from the pot and into a bowl.

Stir it all up and start adding the dry goods to the liquidee ones a coupla tablespoons at a time, mixing like a  Harajuku banshee the whole time.

As soon as it is an ideal FLAPCAKE consistency, stop adding the dry.

Heat up some ghee or coconut oil in a pan (I do a mix of both). Make sure it is medium high but not smoke alarm high. Ladle the batter into the pan and let the magic begin! I would do a peek test to see how everything’s cooking, but as these are not true PANCAKES, the “when it gets bubbles on top” rule does not apply. Flip and cook another coupla minutes. I ‘d say at least 2 minutes per side depending on if you are at sea level or not. The higher up you are, the longer you will cook ’em.

Top with beurre of your choosing (you know I likes the grass fed stylee) and some crunchy sea salt (Maldon anyone?).

Do that syrup thang if you are so inclined. BON SUPER CUTE APPETIT!



beckermans THE BECKERMANS!!!!! The twin sisters have styled themselves as they do daily, and it inspired the above portrait… Here’s what they are sportin’! ON CAILLIANNE (left): Rodarte leather fringe vest -Mickey Mouse H&M leggin’s –Balenciaga bag and shoes –Starbucks grande green tea with matcha and soy on ice ON SAMANTHA (right): -sequined Marc Jacobs Mickey Mouse sweatshirt –Balenciaga blouse (silver-tipped underneath) -plastic Marc Jacobs garbage bag skirt -white Marques Almeida shoes –Proenza bag -vintage pearl sunnies (model’s own) Challo fellow holiday yum yum pals. For this YUMMY DRESS, I drew 2 of my FAVE style Icons, Caillianne and Samantha Beckerman, of the infamous BECKERMANS!!! Yes, you in the “know” know exactly who I am speaking of, and those who do not, get ready for a taste of pure, original, gorgeous, inspired genius. I peeped my first Beckermans piece back in 2004 and knew I had to draw it for PAPER MAGAZINE. It was a delightful confection of a dress. Yes, how many times have you heard fashion folks say “CONFECTION?” But this time it really was an apt description. The dress was like a party of pom-poms and color, all cut with precision so it never looked costumey or garish, just scrumdillicious and brillz. A hard feat! So I drew it, and when it went to press, I called ’em up and told them about it and BOOM BABY, a great friendship was born. I have followed them since and even though they have retired from showing, they are styling and blogging like champs!!! They started an online fashion blog in 2009 called Beckerman Blog, a daily hit of their style avec them hosting red carpet events, Fashion Week coverage, and working with huge houses doing collabos. From being flown to Paris to cover Isabel Marant for H&M to being full-on H&M ambassadors, they have hosted countless events and blogged for the rad brand. They have also live-hosted the 2013 Much Music Video Awards (hey, they are from Toronto!), promoted countless charity projects (can you say Stop Hunger campaign with Michael Kors, Bulgari’s Save The Children, and Ralph Lauren’s Pink Pony T-shirt Campaign with Ralph Lauren himself?), and spread the LOVE and STYLE thick like butter on hot crunchy toast. There is SO MUCH MORE to mench!!! From DVF to Nine West, from Rebecca Minkoff to Maison Martin Margiela, they have been a part of it all, even squeezing in time for a custom Beckermans T-shirt and bag line for Uniqlo (the MAKE UP MONSTER and POPCORN MONSTER TEEs ARE AMAZE!!!). These girls are young, supremely talented, fabulously hard-working, and wikked fun-loving. I do indeed LOVE THE BECKERMANS and feel in a world where sometimes it’s hard to

find magic, these ladies are steeped in it. Pure and simple, joy and day-glo rainbows. Golden locks and cherry lips are de riguer for these chocolate luvin blondes! HEY, now that’s a segue if I ever heard one! I told Sam and Cailli about the idea of a Chocolate Omelette to go with their portrait. They both gushed YES as we are all chocoholics (moi aussi). The idea of the Chocolate Omelette came alive when my honey Jon said, hey what about a chocolate omelette? Can you make it? I was titillated, my synapses firing on overdrive… I said YES. Lemme just mull it over for a day. Then like a blitzkrieg of fire and electricity, I had it! 100% dark chocolate and rich creamy cheese – that way it wouldn’t be cloying or nauseating. I menched this recipe to 4 people. 2 were repulsed and 2 totally got it. They understood the relationship of eggy wegs and rich cocoa-love, enrobed in a cheesy kiss. Very pan au chocolat sans the pan. But as with most great artists, I too, want, need, desire polarization. So LOVE IT or HATE it…HERE it COMES!!! THE CHOCOLATE OMELETTE!!!! (hold appaluse until the end of the show) DSCF3566 The cast is simple albeit talented. The rich fresh milk was backstage primping with the ghee and missed this photo op…but they are in the show. It’s just 100% dark chocolate from France… I would recommend only Francois Pralus. Real cream overdose mouth feel, and that’s sayin’ mucho for 100% choco, baby. No grit, all love. I used about 1 oz. (about 1/3 of a bar). And I got WAY BUZZED. Cut back if you are not a chocoholic. 3 eggs (good ones from your neighbors chickens and at room temp or close to) 1/4 cup of grass fed fresh WHOLE FAT milk. I dig Kalona SuperNatural brand. RAW Boorenkaas cheese from Holland… the Dutch get it. Or any good melty-mild but not tangy cheese. I used a coupla oz. Remember, with an omelette, it’s like a painting – you decide the amount you desire. Ghee! Oh yes, cook this treat up in good ol’ ghee. About 2-3 tablespoons. DSCF3587 Grate chocolate and mini cube cheese. Stir eggs and add moo moo juice. Melt ghee in a nice NORMAL frying pan. Not icky teflon as this is a no-stick recipe anyhoo and teflon is the Devil. When the ghee is up to a medium hot heat (a sizzle, not a Smokey the Bear alert), add egg mixture. Add in a wee bit of salt…like WEE. Baby pinch it – think salted chocolate bars and you get the picture. Sprinkle grated chocolate on the egg pancake and then plop on cheese bits. As soon as you are done, cover it and turn off heat for 7 to 10 minutes. REALLY. This way you don’t burn your chocolate and you get the perfect rolly polly omelette. Check it after 7 minutes and if it needs more, blast it with heat for 30 seconds and then turn it off again and wait 3 minutes. You don’t want a browned crisp dealio. You want it soft and rolly and oozey and gooey. TRUST ME. DSCF3601 SEE! No brown! Except inside….OoOooOoOoOo. I was wary, but this creation is truly full-on sickness. SO DELISH! SO UNIQUE! SO INSANE! And so amped up. I would not advise anyone on eating one of these alone. Share it with a pal. If you are a solo playa, then cut the chocolate in half so you don’t end up too buzzed. I mean, Jon and I split one and hiked for like 4 hours after. Good but WAY VA VA VOOM! Do NOT eat this past 3 pm unless you wanna be up all night. IT WAS SOOOOOOOO DELECTABLE AND RICH AND DEEP AND EARTHY AND ETHEREAL!!!!! I now make them weekly. DSCF3608 CHOCOLATE and CHEESE! HEAVEN! STYLEFIENDSdec04 To end, here is my first drawing of The Beckermans couture from back in 2004 for PAPER MAGAZINE. The sunshine-strewn, rainbow-splashed pom-pom fiesta dress (on the left OBVIOUSLY) stunned me. The Dagwood sammich seemed like the perfect accessory. Can you not GET OVER that dress???? AHHHHHHHHHHH STYLE FO’ EVER!!!!! Thank you BEAUTIFUL BECKERMANS!

EVERYDAY YUM 12-15-13 #yummydress





























Hi there, fellow Yummsters! OK, for today’s EVERYDAY YUM, I have 2 simple and SUBLIME items of deliciousness. A sick rainbow-themed Prada Fur coat and a surprise of simplicity, a boatload of sauteed cremini mushrooms to top on your FAVE local PIZZA PIE! WHAT? Woah… I do indeed know how this may seem a bit TOO SIMPLE, but infact, it is genius if I do say so myself. I mean, REALLY FOLKS, it’s hard to maintain in this hazy holiday fuzz. So why not cut yourself some slack and just order a super yum pizza pie (you must say “pizza pie,” not just “pizza” or the yum diminishes)?? But wait up, guild that pizza pie with a topping of your choice. Do NOT rely on the pizza pie palace to use FAB toppings that are up to your YUM standards, as most do not. How about grass fed beef? Organic spinach? Or best ever, criminally good cremini ‘shrooms?!!! DING DING DING! I choose the later.

Slice up about a pound of good organic creminis into NYC pizzeria slices (as in very thin). Yes, I did say a pound, as it’s your party so why not really hit it? Saute the fungal suckas in 2 tablespoons of ghee and a wee bit of NON-VIRGIN olive oil… the virgin’s not good for sauteing. Add in a HOT PEPPER if you desire. I chose a wikked, nuclear-red-hot Cherry Bomb. Call in your pizza pie… I went with Santa Fe’s own Upper Crust and purchased a large Margarita on gluten free crust. Yes, I roll gluten free these days – actually grain free but that is indeed another blog. Whilst you wait for said YUM, cook up your mushy balls in a good CAST IRON SKILLET about 8 minutes on a medium flame. DING DONG! Pay the pizza pie person. Note that I didn’t say PIZZA MAN or BOY… I am getting so friggin PC yo. Top with earthy creminis and VOILA! NYC mushroom delight. Really, as an ex-New Yawker I truly miss how they HEAP on the mushy mushy. Ahhh, NYC you do have some fine PIZZA PIE!

Onwards and upwards to the Prada SS 2014 FUR! Yes, it is divine and yes, I did just about plotz when I peeked at this Prada collection. REALLY WAY CRAY AMAZE! The furs are not dreary or heavy…the complete opposite. I fell hard for the rainbow strewn one. It feels all MOD but sorta 70’s too. Like weird, rich hippy, but not creepy (as hippy and creepy can be synonymous). The entire collection is tweeked! I actually decided to create (instead of style) the polka dot boots and leave her in the Prada runway dress, as it was so truly perfect for the look. So my dream YUM is this trippin’ coat, and to eat my dream slice sporting this coat would be SICKNESS!!!! Now that’s a full-on freak-out. Prada on ‘shrooms baby!


EVERYDAY YUM 11-29-13 #yummydress





























YES, it IS Vivienne Westwood!!! And yes, I could NOT decide which collection to feature… her RED (shown in London SS 2014) or GOLD (Paris SS 2014)? I mean, WOAH NELLY, homegirl was cold buggin’ on both. Paris was way more tweaked a la punk-etheric-faerie-mud-splattered-Little Bo Peep and London was completelee undead Marie Antoinette on a bender or in a blender.

I opted for classic Westwood, the aformentioned RED collection. Less “THIS IS ART” and more “I WANT IT NOW, I’ll wear it to tea or cocktails or Whole foods!” I also kept her “RUNWAY” make-up on… I really love what they did. Zombie chic for your inner and outer freak! I changed her hair tho, but aside from that, this IS the look from the catwalk. I literally HUNGER for this frock! Westwood will always be the reigning Queen of True Punk Rock Balls… brillz coupled with scrumptious confections of couture. Now that’s a combo I can sink my teeth into!


As for teeth, you won’t need any for today’s EVERYDAY YUM as I decided to go slow and smooth with a nice, alkalizing fruit shake for breaky. I mean, HELLO, it is HOLIDAY SEASON! We need to balance the richness and decadence with some clean fare. Plus this shake is DIVINE. Get out your Vitamix (or go buy one…serious…I’m not playin’) and chop 1 comice pear (all fruit organic if you can), 1 fuji apple, 1/2 a bag of frozen cherries (I dig Whole Foods brand – wow, I’m a friggin’ Whole Foods infomercial), 1 avocado, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, and 2 tablespoons coconut oil (I love Jarrow Formulas extra virgin coconut oil)… but you will need to ice pick it out – I use a fork and a meat tenderizer to knock out a coupla big chunky wunks. It’s a good cooking coconut oil like Nutiva but I prefer it for smoothies as it is yummier. Lastly, add about a cup and a half of water and whir it up.  Use more water if you wanna sip it, but I like to “eat” my shakes with a spoon or spork. There you go, quick and healthy perfection with your blue visage and fab Westwood schmata. You are ready to kick it up wikked mad royal zombie girl stylee!

EVERYDAY YUM 11-27-13 #yummydress

YUM11-27-13                                                       SWEATER by E Tautz (SS 2014, London) SEQUINED DESTROYED JEANS by Ashish (SS 2014, London) FLIP FLOPS: Model’s Own OK, as you who know this blog have already figured out, YES, I drew my husband Jonny for today’s EVERYDAY YUM! Why? Well, sometimes my styling prowess just oozes out to those I know, and I cannot HELP but fantasy style my friends and familia. Plus, HOW SICK would it be to have a hot guy in SEQUINED JEANS to oggle? I mean, c’mon folks, Ashish is STILL this talented, collection after collection??? May I repeat, SEQUINED JEANS=JEANUSH!!! OK, and the sweater by kookoo E Tautz methinks is the cherry on top. I went MAD for LONDON yet again. England is kicking it MAJ in 2014. DELISH STYLE to go with this DELISH and SIMPLE dish.. YUMA11-27-13 Winter saute with brusskies or brussballs

(AKA brussel sprouts), carrot, purple bok choy, onion, broccoli, and a garnish of avocado and raw red bell pepper dice. Cut ’em chop ’em (I slice up the brussballs into wafers and decimate the broccoli so it’s like broccoli confetti) and saute this medley of mad fun in organic, extra-virign coconut oil (I like Nutiva) and grass fed unsalted butter. It’s done when you like the color and texture of the veggies. Season only with fat-ass, chunky grey celtic sea salt. I coupled this with roast chicken (left-over?! HOLLA!) with a toss of red chile powder from Dixon, NM. Good DAY-GLOW red. AHHHHHHH, super yums for breaky. Perfecto with SICK AS BLEEP SEQUINED JEANS!

EVERYDAY YUM 11-26-13 #yummydress

YUM11-26-13     TIGER SWEATSHIRT by Kenzo EARRING by Lanvin Welly Welly Welly… MORE YUM for your TUM! It has BEGUN. I decided to go with, DRUMROLL, The Kenzo tiger sweatshirt!!!!! AND YES, I do in fact realize how utterly trendilicous this is, and you know what? I don’t care!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT and I want it, so VOILA, it has become the style piece of today’s YUM. YUM!!! Plus a Tutti Frutti earring by Lanvin (she gave the other one to her bestie and now they both sport the cooler than cool, single earring in an oh-so-chic-it-actually- HURTS way!) DSCF2835 But whattabout SNACKIE??? Oh yes oh yum, this one is SPICY ICY and very NICIE! Check it out… sit down cuz it’s a wikked rad sitch. Braised baby beet greens with red chile granita!!!! RIGHT??? Fire meets Ice!!!! I have NEVER done anything like this and to be honest, I would do it again in a heartbeat. You just braise up your greens (if you do not have baby beet tops, try baby rainbow chard, but let’s keep it in the BABY way), squeeze some super yum lemon juice (to taste), plus my fave Maldon crunchy salt and a splish-splash of good olive oil. Top with a teaspoon or 2 of the granita and OH MY you have arrived! No wait… you say you don’t get how to do the red chile granita?? No probs Bob. You just get your frozen bag of red chile and let it thaw in the fridge for an hour or two and then scoop up the granita-like snow cone of capsicum. WHAT? Well that’s what I did. If your really wanna make it from scratch, I would freeze the red chiles in an ice cube tray and then plop ’em in a ziploc, and give it a hardy wallop (think meat tenderizer) to desired consistency. If they are

too hard to crush, let ’em sit out at room temp for an hour-ish and by then they will prolly be parfait. Eat as an amuse bouche or elegant side, it REALLY is a pissa. Do try this one… full-on, freakout WOW appeal. DUDE, I soooo want that sweater!!!

EVERYDAY YUM 11-25-2013 #yummydress

everydaygirl1                                                       DRESS by Isabel Marant (2014 Resort Collection) SNEAKERS by Isabel Marant (2012) SILVER HEART PENDANT by Beckerman (this is a vintage piece) CUFFS: Model’s Own (OK, I just made ’em up! I wish they were real, they would be of bakelite and multi-hued diamonds… I’m a DREAMER!!!) NEWSFLASH>>>>> Well, hello again fellow lovers of style and super-umami a.k.a MEGA YUMZ!!!! I am introducing YET another debut to the YUMMY DRESS and EAT ME repertoire. It shall be dubbed EVERYDAY YUM!!!!! Let’s face it, folks,

if I can crank out a FULL-ON, SICK-ASS EVERYDAY YUM daily it would be a miracle. Let’s also be realistic, it’s prolly gonna be more like a bi-weekly or tri-monthly YUM. I am gonna try to DISCIPLINE myself and really do it daily, but I also needed to be truthin’ you. So, what is it you ask??? Just another drawing and some grub??? YES! That it is! Sprinkled with some pathos cuz it is MY PERSONAL YUM. As in what I ate that day and what I dream-fantasized about wearing. It was sunny and all slushy and slippery snowy today in Santa Fe post-arctic storm. So I made a MEGA YUM of 3 poached eggs with farmer’s market roasted veggies. The veggie players were sunchokes, green and purple carrots, pink and blood red beets, zucchini, baby turnips and garlic. I roasted ’em at 400° for 35 minutes and stirred ’em up midway. The ONLY seasonings were crunchy Maldon salt and coarse black pepper… and LOVE. Plus 3-minute poached eggs as I like my eggs gooey wooey. After sucha filling and fab meal I decided to dream-style myself in some scrumptious couture. I always fall back to Isabel Marant. SHE IS A GENIUS!!!! So happy she exists, as most of you fashion-forward-fiends would concur. I went for the TRENDY yet AMAZE sneakers – they will never go out. Love ’em or hate ’em, they are here to stay like ORGANIC VEGGIES, FOOD TRUCKS and EMO TRUCKER HATS (all of which I ADORE). I went full-on mono-designer and did the cutest, li’l deep raspberry mini-dress also by Ms. Marant (from her 2014 Resort collection). Hey, if you’re gonna DREAM, check out the RESORT WEAR! Plopped on my fave necklace THAT I REALLY OWN, from my great pals Caillianne, Samantha and Chloe, The Beckermans! Saying I LOVE these girls is the understatement of 2013. And that’s it! EVERYDAY YUM for your sexxy-ass TUM!!!! DSCF2880


breadfruitgirl ALOHA!!! OK, let’s face it, YUMMY DRESS ROCKS! But it’s quite a mouthful and is sorta on the epic side of life. So I have decided to interject YUMMY with EAT ME! EAT ME will be a quickie delish post featuring ONE food item and ONE style item. For it’s debut I decided the theme should be ELUSIVE DESIRE. OoOoOoOoOoh, how wintry and deep and dark and penetrating into your psyche!!!! But fo’ reals, BOTH of the featured items are WIKKED HARD to find and will probably put you in debt. NO JOKE! So for the fashion fetish it is a bag, and as you BAG LADIES know, bags are basically crack for true fashionistas (hey, I work my 2006 Fendi Cognac Spy bag like a CHAMP!). It’s not just a bag, though, it’s a CHANEL BAG. Oh yeah, a discontinued CHANEL bag at that. RIGHT??? WAY CRAY! It’s not truly called the BUBBLE BAG but I call it that and the sicko bag minions adhere to this moniker as well…THE CHANEL BUBBLE QUILT BAG from 2006-2009. NO, not that regular CHANEL quilt that is all normal and very deb. NON! It’s like a mutant huitlacoche, to quote my fabtastique pal Carrie. I mean, it is really UGLY in a GORGEEOUS WAY. So google it and decide if it’s your dream or nightmare. Remember when Blake Lively was the Chanel “It” girl and she was sportin’ it EVERYWHERE?!! This is THAT bag! Speaking of UGLY in a GORGEOUS way, let’s segue to the other star of the show: THE BREADFRUIT! This is one weird-ass, tropical anomaly and I was introduced to it by Dot, my mother-in-law. She grew up eating them on Kauai where they would roast them outdoors over coals in open pits. She still says THIS is the best way to enjoy the delicacy. The last time I was on Oahu I slathered it in butter and crackly sea salt on her recommendation. IT WAS INSANE! So way cray delish, so original and so unique… like a roasted chestnut having a three -way with a butternut squash and some hot, fresh Hawaiian sweet bread. And VOILA – a breadfruit LOVECHILD! Dot LOVES it but her hubbie Tosh does not. Neither does my hubbie Jon – WEIRD! But rally darlink, who cares, more for us wahines! Here is Dot flashing the shaka and riding the hot-buttered, freshly roasted breadfruit fantasy boat! OH YES! OH YUM! DSCF2359 So to get this pomelo-looking item you must have a breadfruit tree or have nice generous neighbors that do. I mean really! I was gifted with some Caribbean breadfruit for my birthday from my gorgeous man Jonny and OMG! STILL so GREAT! But different. It was like eating a HUGE artichoke heart! INCREDIBLE! You can order it here…or go to Honolulu and spock out a tree and maybe wait for one to fall. There are so many varieties of breadfruit but the bubble bag only came out in a few colors: grey, dark grey, caramel, chocolate, mossy green, mustard, butter, burgandy, petrol blue, dark white, black, dark beige and rust. Plus a buncha styles. Every year they messed around with the styles AND colors…so it truly is a crazy hunt to get YOUR BUBBLE. Good luck. It is TWEEKED. It’s not the TYPICAL yawn Chanel quilt. It’s a totes MUTANT BEAUTY I WILL LUST FOR FOREVER! Here’s a peekie… While working my fave runway in Santa Fe (Whole Foods) I bumped into my pal Paisley and just GUSHED about my recent breadfruit experience. Well, as a chica whose boyfriend has a pad on the Big Island, she TOTALLY knew breadfruit. LIKE FO’ REALS. Like way more than novice moi. So I asked her to guest blog about said yumminess and well, let’s hear from the seasoned aficionado. Take it away Paisley!!!! It’s likely that you don’t know about Breadfruit. Here on the mainland of the United States it’s pretty uncommon. In Hawaii, though, it’s a traditional staple and it’s fabulous! The Hawaiian word for it is Ulu, and you see it on menus there all the time. There are even Breadfruit Institutes on Maui and Kauai, which are committed to promoting Breadfruit for reforestation projects and food use around the world. Breadfruit grows on huge, gorgeous trees and is one of the only foods in the world that could sustain you for years all by itself. It has that many nutrients and minerals and other good stuff in it. So yay for Breadfruit! You might think a diet of Breadfruit alone would be mighty boring and you’d be right eventually, but honestly, there are so many ways to prepare it that it would take you a while to get bored. Now I have to admit that the way I was introduced to eating Breadfruit is the ultimate way to be introduced to eating anything – I picked it, wild, from a tree. Then, I brought it home and a chef taught me how to cook it. Does it get any better? If Haggis grew wild and this was how I was introduced to it, I would probably love Haggis. At the time, my boyfriend and I were living on the Big Island of Hawaii. I could go on for pages about the amazing eating opportunities in Hawaii, but this episode definitely stands out. One day, a chef friend of ours took us “scavenging,” which is a completely legitimate and amazing way to gather vegetables in the islands. There are so many plants that grow wild all over the place that you can, without going much more than 100 yards from the road, and without stepping onto private property at all, drive around and collect produce like limes, lemons, oranges, papayas, coconuts, bananas, avocados (wild avocados!) mangoes, onions, herbs of all kinds, and breadfruit. So yes, my introduction was pretty perfect, but even if you purchase yours mundanely from the grocery store, as I now do, you will still love it. Breadfruit can be a little daunting when you first encounter it in uncooked. It’s a big, football-shaped, green object that has a tendency to ooze white goo from its cut stem and from any nicks in the rind. Do not be intimidated! You must be bold! Approach with confidence and then STOP! There is one very important thing to know about coming into contact with Breadfruit. That white goo I mentioned? It’s latex. All natural, of course, but it does tend to seep out at the most inconvenient times, like constantly. This sounds completely disgusting, but it’s fine. If you’re allergic, wear gloves (not the latex kind, obv). And before you even think about cutting into it, oil your knife! This is very important because getting that sticky goo off of your knife afterward will be a nightmare. Also, put some parchment down on the counter, too. Ok, taking a page out of Julia Child’s book (I wonder if she ever had Breadfruit?), you must CONFRONT the Breadfruit with poise and calm. You are fully protected. You are prepared. You are the Ninja of Breadfruit. As I said, there are a million ways to cook breadfruit, but a couple of my faves are baking/roasting and frying. We’ll start simple… ROASTED BREADFRUIT This is the simplest preparation I know of and also one of the best. Ingredients • 1 Breadfruit • Salt & Pepper • Butter Directions • Pre-heat the oven to 400 and line a baking sheet with parchment. • Cut the stem from the Breadfruit and then cut the whole thing in half. This will basically allow it to cook a little faster, but you could also just stick the whole thing into the oven, uncut. Or hell, if you’re on a beach or camping, wrap it in foil and bury it in campfire coals. But if you’re in your kitchen and in a hurry to eat you some yummy Breadfruit, cut it in half and it will cook faster. • Lay the halves cut-side down on the baking sheet and stick it in the oven. • Much like baking a potato, the time it’s going to require depends mostly on the size of the Breadfruit. I suggest checking it after 1/2 an hour. It probably won’t be ready by then, but it will give you an idea of how it’s coming along. You check it by sticking a knife into it. When the knife slides in easily, it’s done. • When it’s done, remove it and let it cool just enough to touch it. Now it’s easiest to simply slice it. Scoop/cut the seeds out like you do from an apple slice. Serve with lots of butter, salt, and pepper. Delicious! You could also peel it, scoop the seeds, and mash it with butter, salt, and pepper. Equally delicious! There you go! Breadfruit mastery is yours! So, having dealt with the easiest preparation, let’s try something not difficult, but a teeny bit more daring. ULU FRIES Ingredients • 1 Breadfruit (any size works, but I really love these so I would probably get a larger one) • 16 oz. oil or fat (the amount here depends on the size of your Breadfruit. Fries should be almost completely submerged in the cooking fat.) • Water • Salt • Parmesan, Gorgonzola, other yummy cheeses, spices, whatever you think would make French fries even more delicious are welcome here. Special equipment that is not necessary, but would be handy: • Deep Fryer- if you don’t have one, use a Dutch oven or any heavy-bottomed, fairly high-sided pan • Spider skimmer- alternatively, try a fairly broad strainer or a slotted spoon • Deep-Frying/Candy thermometer – again, no problem if you don’t have one. You can use the old trick of the wooden chopstick or spoon handle. I’ll explain below. A couple of notes about the oil and fat for this recipe: You want to make sure you use an oil or fat that has a high enough smoke point for frying. Otherwise, it’s a grease-fire fest and that’s not what we’re going for. Olive oil is no good. Before it bursts into flames, it burns and (a) tastes awful and (b) turns carcinogenic. Really – burning does something to the molecules of olive oil that makes it carcinogenic. Again, not what we’re going for. You could use coconut oil, which is great, but you have to get the refined kind. Refining ups the smoke point and makes it possible to fry with it. Macadamia oil has a high enough smoke point (413 degrees, F), and it would be delicious, but it is super expensive so if you want to use it, make sure you’re feeling luxxe that day. Do I actually need to say that Canola and basic “vegetable” oil are right out? They are. Both are made primarily with rapeseed oil, which is totally genetically modified and chemically toxified. Ew. Grapeseed oil (with a ‘G’) is the best thing for frying because it’s healthy, has a high smoke point, and a totally neutral flavor. But if you’re feeling like Grapeseed is a little “ho hum” and you’re not feeling quite up to macadamia oil, you could use duck fat. Yes, seriously. It is 20% lower in saturated fat than butter, you can re-use it (just drain it and then stick it in the fridge once it’s not blazing hot any more), and it is crazy delicious. As you can see, there are many options. Choose one and off we go! First, prepare a bowl of water for the Breadfruit to hang out in after it’s been cut and before it’s fried, so it doesn’t turn brown. Second, prepare three trays/plates liberally lined with paper towels. The first one is going to be for your Breadfruit after it’s dried and before it goes in the oil. The second one is to drain it after it comes out of the oil the first time and the third one is going to be for draining after the second frying. Yes, the second frying. The secret to great fries of any kind is the double-fry method. Absolutely key! The first time is just to get them cooked through. (Undercooked Breadfruit or, worse, potatoes? Yuck.) The second time is to get them nice and crisp! You want to skin the Breadfruit and cut it into strips, like large French fries, each about 3″ long and maybe 1/4″ to 1/2″ square. There are several ways of going about this, but the easiest is probably to cut off the Breadfruit’s stem, first, and stand it on that flat cut, for an even surface. Then slice it on all four sides, leaving the middle, where the seeds are. Then skin those sections. You could skin it first, or slice it straight into even sections, but whatever works for you. As you go, toss the strips into the water bowl so they don’t turn brown. Ok, so if you’ve got a deep fryer, great. If not, no problem, use a Dutch oven or some other heavy pan that has pretty high sides. Melt all the oil and let it get good and hot. If you have a thermometer, clip it to the side of your pan so that it is well submerged in the oil but NOT touching the bottom. That will skew your reading. You want the oil to get to about 325F for this round. If you don’t have a thermometer, all is not lost. Take a wooden chopstick or the handle of a wooden spoon and stick it into the pan. If the oil starts steadily bubbling, it’s hot enough. If it bubbles like crazy, that’s too hot. Turn the heat down and let it cool a little bit. While the oil is heating, dry the Breadfruit sticks. DRY THEM REALLY WELL!! If you throw damp Breadfuit into hot oil, you need to be wearing goggles and an aluminum suit because the oil will go flying and you will wind up with, like, 19th degree burns. When the oil is hot, use your spider or spoon to put a bunch of the Breadfruit in. Working quickly, put enough in so that the pan is about half full. You don’t want to dump all of them in at once because you want to give them some room, but you don’t need to do them 10 at a time either. As I said, the first round of frying is all about getting them cooked through. When they start to turn golden after a few minutes (say 7), stick one with a knife. It should slide it in pretty easily. If it doesn’t, leave them in for a few more minutes. If they’re starting to brown too fast, turn the heat down a little bit. When they’re close to the texture that you want, fish them out and set them aside to drain. Remember that you don’t want them to get overdone and you have one more, shorter, round of frying to go. This time, they just need to be cooked through and slightly golden. Now do the next batch. When you’re all done, it’s time to do it again, this time for crispness. Turn the heat up a little bit. If you’re working with a thermometer, you’re going for 375F. If you’re doing wooden stick method, just wing it. You’ll be fine. As before, work in batches and fry them all a second time. Keep your eyes on your fries and let them to the color you want them to end up with. As they are done, take them out and set them aside to drain. Salt immediately upon removing from the oil so that the salt sticks. You could also, at this stage, throw on some grated Parmesan or crumbled Gorgonzola! Cheesy fried Breadfruit? Yes, please! Enjoy! A shot of Miss Paisley in da Islands working that sublime, “I have Breadfruit at home just waiting to be devoured” smile! DSC00909_3 I asked Paisley to do a mini interview over some glorious hot chocolate at Kakawa Chocolate House… OK, elixirs, not just run of the mill hot cocoa (I got the Aztec Warrior she had 1/3 Jeffersonian and 2/3rds Zapoteca) Here ’tis! 1. What is your dream bag? I have dreamt about many bags, but one that has never left The List is the good ol’ Hermes Birkin, just because those are so damn big

and useful. The sort of daily bag changes constantly, but it’s always something slouchy and roomy but never loose and dumpy. And of course, if we’re seriously discussing baggage, hard-sided Louis Vuitton, please, along with the staff and aircraft to correctly transport it. 2. How would you describe the taste of Breadfruit? Breadfruit is very mild, slightly nutty. The name Breadfruit is so perfect because it really is like bread, which is tasty on its own, but is so mild that it could be said to exist purely as a vehicle for other flavors. 3. Where are you from and where are you going? Wow, what a question! From? That’s easy. I am from the South. That’s where I learned to cook, in a family of female cooks. The Southern men of my grandfather’s and father’s generation had not yet embraced cooking as they have now. My brother, for instance, is a wonderful cook, but when I was growing up, the women cooked, and they did it magnificently. They taught me in a purposeful way how to cook and bake. Without consciously thinking about it, they taught me about family and tradition and non-tradition, the joy of doing things because it makes you happy, and the even greater of joy of doing things because they make other people happy. I learned how to embrace new ideas and ways of doing things. There were a lot of recipes and a lot of modalities that we used because that’s how they were done. But my grandparents were from Tennessee and we were in Florida and my father was a gourmet in the finest sense. In that kitchen, fried chicken was adored, but so were Chicken Marbella and seared scallops in beurre blanc and Thai curry, and Cuban black beans. It’s a big world and the kitchen was my introduction to it. As for where I am going – anywhere, that’s the beauty of it! 4. What is your favorite food? Impossible to say. It’s like asking my favorite color. My favorite food when I’m curled up in front of a fire in Santa Fe is completely different from my favorite food when I’m sitting on a beach in Hawaii. But that’s what I love about food, it can be altered to suit you. 5. What is your dream food? A twenty-course meal with foie gras, oysters, bread, cheesecake, ice cream, wine, and anything else that might not be 100% good for me, but all with absolutely no negative side effects like weight gain or drunkeness. Technically, this does not exist, but that’s why Christmas, Thanksgiving, and birthdays do exist – because anything you consume on those days does not count! AHHHHH! Mahalos Paisley! That clandestine Whole Foods meeting turned into a yummy EAT ME!!!